Léna's Lit.Life

Léna (me): Lit, as in literature, Lit, as in light, Lit, as in a little kooky: Life.

"Well, the question is, what do you want to believe? Do you want to live in a world where things are possible, or in one where they aren't?" Cin, Edges.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Fear of Photography

You may notice that I have a new profile picture. (Look right!) I hate to admit it, but the one that I had been using was pretty old. When my husband said it didn't look like me, and then my own MOTHER said it didn't look like me, I rolled my eyes, but I knew that I had to take action.

"It has no personality," hubby said of my other photo.
"That's YOU?" my mother exclaimed dramatically.
Sigh. I think that I was 15 pounds thinner in the other photo, and at least three years younger.

I don't like getting my picture taken. It brings up both my insecurities and my vanities, NOT a great combo if you ask me. I remember reading about a tribe in Africa who were traumatized when Westerners came with their cameras. They felt that their "souls" were being captured. I always related to that. I never seem to be natural or relax. Hubby says the best photos of me are when I'm singing, or being tickled. "That's when your natural goofiness comes out," says he.

Wait, I'm goofy? Pause. Yes I am.

The very same day I was taken to task for my photo, I ran into my friend, S. Jhoanna Robledo on Broadway and she asked whether I needed a new photograph for my book jacket. Is this a conspiracy? I ask myself. She let me know that she does portrait photography (as well as being a fabulous mom and journalist, currently covering real estate for New York magazine).

It's all falling together . . . Jho came over yesterday afternoon after telling me to wear solid colors. Now, if I'm not comfortable around Jho, then I couldn't possibly be comfortable around anyone else. So I let her see my insecurity and my vanity, and it's strangely intimate, and it's okay. She gets me to talk about things that make me happy, and gets my family in on the act to make me laugh. She is genuine and kind, having fun with me and loving the craft.

I am a happy customer. One step further on the path to publication!

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