Falling Down the Rabbit Hole . . . Of Publishing

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I feel like Alice. I've chased the rabbit, the dream of being a published author, and I have in turns grown too big and then too small. I have made the mistake of thinking that by virtue of being published, I am validated as a person. Personal validation is an inside job, one that I'm getting better at, but at times I'm found in need of remedial help.

So, re: publishing . . . Shall I burst into tears? Or can I access that most-zen aspect of Alice, when she says "Curioser and curioser," an observer as well as a participant, but with ego in check?

I have an agent, a publisher, and a team of friends and colleagues behind me. And yet I fear my little book will get lost in the shuffle as so many do, when we live in a world where Snooki gets not only a book deal but a rush to be in the stores by the New Year. (Yes, I'm looking at you, Barnes and Noble and Borders!)

People ask if there will be a book tour. No. That's just the state of publishing today. My friend Rebecca didn't get sent on a tour until after she won the Newbery award for When You Reach Me. My friend Dave, one of the smartest guys I know, has a lot of suggestions and tough questions about sales and marketing, and reaching independent bookstores. With publishers and their publicists so befuddled these days, its as though authors are interlopers at a tea party held by the Mad Hatter and the March Hare. And I really don't know how to get Edges onto the map of all of those wonderful independent stores across the country. How to be more proactive? I'll have to create my own tour. To NYC I can say: I'll be all over you, I'll bring it, and you won't be disappointed. I will also be in Washington DC the weekend of December 18th, Orlando, Florida in February for President's Week, and possibly in the Bay Area next Spring.

Maybe I'll find out more in the next couple of weeks about an online and an overall marketing plan. If I don't, or if it makes me feel more confused and I do float away on my puddle of tears, I'll just have to remember it is part of my journey and will take me to another opening, another door, and remain curioser and curioser.