Léna's Lit.Life

Léna (me): Lit, as in literature, Lit, as in light, Lit, as in a little kooky: Life.

"Well, the question is, what do you want to believe? Do you want to live in a world where things are possible, or in one where they aren't?" Cin, Edges.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

I Am Not John Green

English: John Green speaking at the Loft Liter...
I have been guilty of one through ten on the list RIGHT at one point or another, resulting in me figuratively banging my head against the wall.

We artists are sensitive folk, aren't we? This is one of the many reasons I write: to exorcise these demons. I know that I am not alone, but I do applaud those of you who are above not doing anything on this list.

Comparisons are odious - William Shakespeare, Much Ado About Nothing

Indeed.

My latest crime against myself is wishing that I were John Green. (I wish that my name would extract ecstatic sighs from people the way his does - oh ego, how dost thou mock me!)  I compare myself to him because we are both obsessed with the meaning of life, yet he unravels his thoughts in a way that is glib and sarcastic while I do . . . not. He is a master of dialogue, and shows me where I need to focus my practice. My dialogue is awkwardly sweet. I am "normal" funny, whereas he is "gifted" funny. He is a "nerdfighter" whereas my demons are . . . different.

But there's only one John Green.

I picked up a copy of his latest book yesterday, The Fault in Our Stars, and I felt as if John were in the room with me. Why aren't I as cool as he is? Because for all of his "nerdiness", I got to hang out with him at LeakyCon in Orlando last July when we were on some panels together, and let me tell you, he is HOT, people. He's the real deal. I wish that I could say that he's a big faker and be done with it. But I can't, because he really IS all that and a bag of chips. And he would be the first one to tell me NOT to compare myself to him. (DFTBA: Don't Forget to be Awesome!)

Comparisons are odious.

First of all, I am not a dude, I don't live in Indiana, and I don't have a brother named Hank. We'll just stop there.

So tell me, Léna. Who are you? I preach what I need to hear - that everybody's voice has value, that there is nothing original under the sun save for our uniqueness and authenticity.

I had best be leaving John Green to John Green, and revel in my own Léna-ness. Nobody wants me to be him. Y'all want me to be myself, don't you? As I want you to find your you-ness as well.

Now hopefully my blogging has served it's purpose: I can go back to being an adoring John Green fan, finish his latest literary tour de force (with his own Shakespearean nod to Julius Caesar) and kick the green-eyed monster to the curb.

I heart you John, I really do.


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191 comments:

  1. I heart you Lena, and love and appreciate your Lena-ness! Your warm, honest, and sympathetic concern for others oozes from your glorious person, your teaching and your writings. Your name does, in fact, exact ecstatic sighs from this crew (and yes, as you know we do love John Green, too.) And yes, you we think you are awesome.

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  2. Darling ErikaP - what can I say? My heart is brimming with heart-itude! xoxox

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  3. Honestly, if you were him for just one Writopia afternoon, I could be okay with that. But then I'd miss you too much. Cause nobody does a better you than, well, you! And I, for one, am glad you do.(starting to sound like a Hallmark Dr. Suess)

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  4. This kills me, because it's exactly what I've been doing since reading Looking for Alaska last week. How do I stop hearing John Green's voice in my head? ? Maybe replace it with Léna's wise thoughts. I jumped on this post and I'm glad I did! Thank you.

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    1. Thank you Karen - for your heavenly solidarity!

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  5. Yes, your Lena-ness is your best asset! Let John Green be sarcastic. You be what ErikaP up above me (or below me) says. Not just anyone can or will touch that sweet spot for her public.

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  6. John Green is a fabulous person! I have his book being shipped to me as we speak! I managed to get my girlfriend hooked on reading because of him! I'm making her read your book, by the way.(:

    As for you, you're just as awesome! We couldn't all be John Green's, otherwise he would just be commonplace and average, as we all would be. We all have to be individuals otherwise we become a collectivist society, and frankly, there's no fun in that. So keep being that quirky fun-loving person you are!

    Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go devour some more John Green.

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    1. Ian, you are full of awesome! Now I have to go finish The Fault in Our Stars!

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  7. I heart Lena Roy. And I happily discovered that when her book arrived in the mail today, it was serendipitously autographed. I'm a happy Lena fan. Who's Johh Green? :)

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    1. Britton! How awesome is that you got the copy you were meant to have? I can't wait for you to read it! And I am so happy to have met you from our FB writer's group!

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  8. I totally know how you feel. I recently posted something similar after a particularly painful rejection. (The rejection wasn't painful. It was nice. But the timing was awful.) The good thing is, you're able to move past it. That's what's important.

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