Gone Readin'

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Guten Tag. It's Wednesday, right? And I haven't written since Saturday . . . my kids are on vacation from school, so life has been dizzyingly full and unscheduled.

And I need schedule! For an unorganized person like me, it's a life-line.

So this is why I have been so quiet on the blog front. Our house has been full of friends, or we've gone a-visiting. On Sunday, my mom came in and took the boys and I to see The Importance of Being Earnest on Broadway (two B'way shows in one week? I'm making up for lost time!) and I was thrown back to 11th grade where I played Cecily Cardew in our high school production, and got to kiss the boy playing Algernon. (Sigh. SUCH a crush!) We LOVED it! Oscar Wilde really knew what he was doing didn't he? We had fun coming up with homophones other than EARNEST . . .

But I must check in quickly to say hello before we further decorate Easter eggs and go to see Hop. (Yesterday we dyed them!)

The other thing I've been doing besides writing is DEVOURING George RR Martin's Game of Thrones' series. I am currently in the middle of the fourth A Storm of Crows. (The fifth comes out this summer!)

And I have to trust that if I am not writing, things are surely marinating, waiting to bloom, and . . .

If I am not writing, you can always find me reading! (Because when I am in the throes of writing, it is hard to get into another person's story!)

What are you reading?

Comfort and Inspiration in Banned Books

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Thursday, closing up on Banned Book Week and I am finding  comfort and inspiration from both my "real" friends and "fantasy" friends who write books that make us stop and think.

About how we treat each other and ourselves.

Like Laurie Halse Anderson, Sherman Alexie, Ellen Hopkins, even my grandmother (yes, she was banned) to name a few. Books that can make a difference.

I aspire to that, I do. I practice, I work, I lose myself in other worlds. So it is with both glee and mental fatigue when I tell you that I have finished rewriting The Land of the Lost and Found. No, that does not mean that I am ready to send it back to my agent. I have to step away from it for a few days in order to see the forest through the trees. Does my new ending work? I don't know yet. I have to REVISE my rewrite, and you know how I heart revision! The plot remains in tact, but the structure is completely different, which forced me to rewrite practically every word! But I have been feverish, driven. Hopefully I have improved it.

I would normally be jumping up and down, but I am so sore from taking a class involving kettlebells at the gym yesterday (DON"T ASK!) that I can't.

I have been living and breathing this leading up to and through this Banned Book Week, because the issue of "pregnancy" is at the forefront of this novel. Oh no, you groan. Not another novel about teen pregnancy? And you know, I groaned too when I learned that this was what was coming from my soul. I didn't plan it this way, really! I write the book that wants me to write it. But I promise you that although it has this "issue", it is from two very different perspectives and not, ultimately, what it's "about".

I am watching the wind rage through the trees and the rain pelt the ground. I have to remember this: I have been able to write despite several men stomping around putting holes in walls, ceilings and floors for heating ducts, despite my husband tapping away on his own novel next to me, despite that I have been disappointed by the chains not being willing to stock my book at first and a one star review (with no explanation) on Goodreads.

I have also gotten some rave reviews too, including a very sweet note from the actor, Ryan Gesell who narrated the Luke portion on the audio of EDGES, telling me how much he loved it. And my friend Judy, who I was afraid to loan my ARC to, only because I adored her book, What I Did and Why I Lied soooo much - she loved EDGES too.

I can't be afraid of reviews, because they're coming. My writing will be out there soon for the world to judge. But Banned Book Week gives me comfort, because I know that EDGES most certainly be banned somewhere, and I will have the company of many of my favorite authors. Those who make us think about the human condition, who might make us, yes, feel a little uncomfortable. Or a lot.

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It Takes Nerve

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I'm throwing a party, and you and your kids are invited! Coming up this Saturday, September 25th: Writopia's first Open Mic event in Northern Westchester. (Indeed, Northern Westchester's first Open Mic event!) It will be emcee'd by me at the Borders bookstore in Mt. Kisco at 5PM. All of my students from over the summer will be reading, as will hopefully, other kids and teens from the community.

I am both excited and nervous - as with any party I throw, I worry if people are going to come! I think this excitement and anxiety translates to the publication of EDGES too. It takes nerve to throw a party, and it certainly takes nerve to write a book. Backbone. My heart and soul - in varying degrees - are in both of them.

And I'm feeling a bit bitter about Borders not stocking my book. And the fact that I haven't been able to reach any of my peeps in the publishing industry. My head goes straight to - they don't like me anymore because the chains don't want me. Yes folks, I have been known to - once in a while - succumb to stinkin' thinkin'.

And it's crazy - I don't need to hover on the edge of despair. I have made it this far - through getting an agent, a publisher, the editing process, getting an audio deal - there are so many people who believe in and are behind EDGES. It's not a commercial book, but my hope is that it will slowly rise to the top, and that I will be among the ranks of Laurie Halse Anderson, Jay Asher, and Ellen Hopkins. Is this hubris, vanity, delusion to dream big? (Who am I not to dream big, and have hopes?)

Speaking of these three authors, September 25th also happens to be the first day of Banned Books Week. Censorship is a hot topic with me, as it was with my grandmother, who stirred up controversy with A Wrinkle in Time (ridiculous, I know). I think about it a lot with the kids/teens I work with, and one of the reasons I love Writopia so much is that we are allowed to write whatever we want. Many kids want to explore dark material, and aren't "allowed" in school, and I am no different. I am interested in the human psyche and the healing of what's broken.

Books for me are love letters to the soul. It takes nerve indeed!

"Author's Statement" and My Own Edge

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I have to write an Author's statement for my publicist. This, I gathered from her, is kind of like a college essay wherein I impress upon the world the reasons you should read my book, or why I wrote the book in the first place. Really? Do I have to? I am intimidated!!!!! I'm getting anxious that this is really happening. Publication. I have to get comfortable talking up EDGES and the fact that it's "about" the unglamorous topic of addiction and recovery. (And no, I didn't throw in a vampire as a metaphor, although that was very tempting.)

Luke had been tapping me on the shoulder, waiting patiently for me to tell his story for a very long time. I had known that he was running from his mother's death and father's alcoholism to a youth hostel in Moab, Utah. Originally, I was going to write two narratives: Luke's, and his father, Frank's journey to sobriety and to each other. But then Ava appeared at an AA meeting with Frank, and I became more curious about her story.

I hadn't read any fiction about the process of recovery. There is plenty out there with graphic insight into addiction. (The best of which I think is Crank by Ellen Hopkins.) But what happens when you take away the substance? Or, if like Luke, you just run away?

In my work with teens and substance abuse, I found that the older the kids are, the harder it was to make an immediate difference. Still, planting the seeds of recovery and healing was essential. Books are a powerful tools for learning and discovery.

We are all human and can make poor choices. But where is the line between a stupid choice and disease? I have had more friends and family members die from alcoholism and drug addiction than anybody would want - the latest of whom was three weeks ago. My friend's son, was found in his bed, slumped over from an overdose of heroin. And he had been trying to stay clean. A sweet, kind young man, who will be missed.

We write to understand the world, at least I do, and EDGES came out of a need to find hope in a sometimes bleak world, hope in a time where it's so easy to go over the edge, and somehow more difficult to find your own personal edge - stretching yourself and your mind beyond what you thought possible.

I also wrote EDGES with the underlying hope that I would be of service, that I would plant seeds, without being didactic or preachy, to be curious about how to wear life like a loose garment without either being hyper-responsible like Luke or out of control like Ava.

This "Author's Statement" will be marinating in my lobes and cerebellum all week. It will take me to my own "edge" of my comfort zone. What are my boundaries?

Thank you, oh mighty blog, for letting me "practice" on you, and thank you to my "circle" of readers, who help me keep going!