Companion book to EDGES

I did it. Yesterday I sent off my manuscript to my agent. I dolled her up in PDF format with chapters, titles and page breaks. Oooh. Aaahh. Am I allowed to tell you what the working title is? I don't know - I'm feeling shy. (My working title for EDGES was different, but I'll save those details for another blog!)

It's supposed to be a weight off of my shoulders so I can focus on moving, right? WRONG. I am still thinking about my characters, thinking about whether or not I got it right, whether I cut too much here, or added too much there, whether I SHOW enough character development making the arc beautiful, taking my characters on a psychological, metaphysical journey.

The husband challenged me, and you can bet the agent will too. So, I wait.

And while I wait, I am reading again, finally. I am deep into my friend Stephanie's latest book, Claude & Camille, about the life of Monet and the rise of Impressionism as an artistic movement. I keep returning to the opening quote by Monet: I had so much fire in me and so many plans. I always want the impossible. Take clear water with grass waving at the bottom. It's wonderful to look at, but to try to paint it is enough to make one insane.

So that's what is going on with me! And maybe it strikes you too, and it's not just the royal "we" who struggle with our imaginations and the yearning to express ourselves, wanting to capture certain emotions, the nuances of a situation and our character's flaws without being preachy, redundant or trite. Indeed, it is enough to make one insane.

I wish that I had the genius and discipline of Monet, but what I do have is the urge to communicate with the world through writing. And Monet's quote leads my thoughts to the young, earnest writers I work with at Writopia and Girls Write Now with their "fire" and their "plans". Has aging made me any different? I hope not!

Lessons from Madeleine L'Engle: Circle of Friends

Last night I had the profound pleasure of honoring my grandmother with two dear friends of hers - friends that she had met when they became part of her writer's groups, these groups that would form a circle of friends - Pamela Leggett and Stephanie Cowell. One of the more special things about Gran was her ability to create community. Having "Madeleine" as a common denominator seemed to be as good a reason as any to springboard into friendship for many people. Her friends became friends, and so on. (Claudia Mundell, an internet friend known to me as Bookie, has remarked on this phenomenon on her blog.)

Indeed, Gran's "Circle of Friends" got together after her death to create a book of essays by each of them to commemorate Madeleine and the gifts she had given them.

So who were these friends of Gran's, who I now hope to form my own friendship with? Pamela Leggett met my grandmother almost twenty years ago and began going to her writer's workshops. Pam and I got to know each other a bit when I was coordinating care and events for Gran towards the end of her life, before she went to the nursing home. Pam would take Gran to a Sunday evening vespers service at the convent, then when that became too difficult with the wheelchair, at the Cathedral of St. John the Divine. Afterward, they would go to Meridiana for dinner, an Italian restaurant across the street from her apartment building. Gran so looked forward to these outings, and I in turn was grateful for Pam in making this happen.

Sometimes another friend, historical fiction writer Stephanie Cowell would come along on these outings. (Stephanie has just published her fifth book, Claude and Camille about the life of Monet which I can't wait to read!) My grandmother, I learned, was responsible for Stephanie meeting her husband Russell, and indeed gave her away when she got married.

I met Pam at the Cathedral a little bit early for the vespers service at 4PM. Pam was already there when I arrived, a little dewy-eyed, sitting in the very same spot she had shared with my grandmother five and more years ago. The service was beautiful, and I was so tempted to lean into Pam and put my head on her shoulder as I used to do with my Gran. The Cathedral was filled with her presence. Now, many of you know that I have been a tour guide at the cathedral for school groups, so I was unprepared for this onslaught of feeling. But Pam was feeling it too; it was something that we share, a deep and abiding love for an incredible woman who lives on in us.

We were meeting Stephanie at Meridiana's, and as Pam and I left the Cathedral, weaving our way through a block party to the restaurant, she told me about her teaching Madeleine L'Engle style workshops at her church in Montclair New Jersey. I'm a little jealous, I must admit, having never been to a Madeleine L'Engle workshop myself!

Stephanie was sitting al fresco at Meridiana, looking radiant with her shoulder length white hair. I have never seen her look so beautiful. "Success in the publishing world agrees with you!" I remarked. We ordered "Madeleine" fare in tribute. My grandmother always ordered a spring salad with goat cheese and spaghetti carbonara, so we did the same. And we talked about Gran, but mostly about ourselves, forging our own new friendships. I always want to know people's love stories, and their stories did not disappoint!

Thank you Pam and Stephanie, for a wonderful evening, and for including me in this circle of friends. It is my deepest wish that I be able to expand my own circle of friendship in much the same way.