Pachelbel, my Grandmother, and Chaos

Image by Cantorion.org via Flickr

Let's start with the chaos.

My fifth grader was to play in an orchestra comprising 3 elementary schools, a large middle school, and an even larger high school. We arrived to chaos in the high school gym and made our way to the bleachers, while our son bravely asked for help tuning his violin and finding out where to go.

It was a long wait, getting 300 kids organized and into position with all of their string instruments, so I played tic-tac-toe with my kindergartner while my back misbehaved and whined because there was nothing to lean against. Chaos. It mirrored my feelings of discombobulation, returning from vacation and not fully being able to get back into the swing of things. I am always seeking serenity and balance, which is not always possible. If I could only feel grateful for chaos, then I wouldn't be so hard on myself.

Then, without any fanfare or warning, the kids started to play, and tears filled my eyes. It was Pachelbel's Canon, my grandmother's favorite. There's such unbearable beauty in those moments, when I am surprised by emotion.

And all of a sudden, my Gran was in the high school gym with me, standing behind me, hand on my shoulder. We were at Crosswicks, spaghetti sauce simmering, Pachelbel strings soaring, and dreaming about impossible things.

The concert was amazing.

Be grateful for the chaos, because there, you just might find the impossible.