Image via WikipediaPublishing a book was a little like having a fourth baby. It was both more painful and more beautiful than I expected, and demanded my complete attention. It rocked my world just the way my sons and daughter have, and now it has become it's own entity. Fly little book, fly!
I gained weight with each child and joined Weight Watchers when they were a few months old to lose the excess weight - thirty pounds. I became a Lifetime Member of Weight Watchers in 2002, but now after the birth of Edges, I have thirty pounds to lose all over again.
I have become aware and accepted that my body doesn't feel right. I am uncomfortable. So instead of shrugging it off as I have for the past few months, I am finally taking action.
I have been ambivalent about going back because I know that losing weight is not just physical, but it is psychic and spiritual as well. It's going to force me to focus on taking care of and paying attention to myself. I have to work on my relationship with food and bring it to a healthy place. We're in couples therapy, food and I.
I didn't have that psychic energy before. It was all focused on the book and then the next book, and moving and renovating and my kids and Writopia - we all have those lists!
Do I have the psychic energy now? It's not about will-power. I need help! I believe that I need to find the willingness to turn over my relationship with food to a Higher Power. For strength and courage I am going to call upon the Greek goddess Artemis as my Goddess-du-jour. Her name comes from the Greek artemês, which means: uninjured, healthy, vigorous.
And that's what I want to be!
PS I promise that I won't blog about this issue or my journey with it again unless it has some bearing on my Lit Life! If anybody is interested though, maybe I'll start another blog on a spiritual journey through weight loss. Let me know!