You Say it's Your Birthday????

'What day is it?' asked Pooh.

'It's today,' squeaked Piglet. 

'My favorite day,' said Pooh.

45, 45, 45, 45.

I am 45.

4 plus 5 = 9.

I am 9

I am 10, I am 11, and so on . . .

I am every age I've ever been.

The gift of Memory.

But today. Today I went to Finn's graduation from 5th grade (sniff) and took him out to lunch at the diner, where we knew half of the patrons.

The gift of Community.

But today. Today I went to see the doctor to get the results from my physical. (Blood tests, etcetera.) I am relieved that I only have some vitamin deficiency: B12 and D3. I have lost 23 pounds since mid-March and am committed to living gluten, dairy and sugar free.

The gift of Willingness.

But today. Today I worked with an amazing kid on her novel.

The gift of Passion for Work. For knowing that I am in the Right Place.

But today. Friends called and sent me texts and messages. One took me for an iced tea whilst my kids were all at their evening swim practice.

The Gift of Friendship.

I mess up, we all do.

The Gift of Giving up on Perfection. (This is a very late night, very quick blog post.)

“Piglet noticed that even though he had a Very Small Heart, it could hold a rather large amount of Gratitude.” 

And the Gift of Gratitude.

xoxoxox Thank you to everyone in my life, whether we can hug in person, or just virtually - you all help my heart to grow bigger and stronger!

Make Time to Daydream

I don't know about you, but I miss daydreaming. My life is so busy and full with wonderful things - children, family, friends, work, but I am having difficulty finding any time to stare out the window and daydream.

I need to, my writing life needs me to, my sanity needs me to.

Desperately.

Maybe blogging is a modern form of daydreaming? But no, I'm searching for meaning in my thoughts here. Daydreaming is freedom from thought. To quote Winnie-the-Pooh: How sweet to be a cloud, floating in the blue . . .

I am running ten workshops this semester, working with kids and teens I admire and who inspire me with their capacity to daydream, to free associate, to build castles in the air. I challenge them, trick them to break through and follow up their dreams with thought. I need to practice what I preach.

I used to be a big daydreamer - so big, that I was self-destructive. I used to build castles in the air and then try to move in, inevitably falling on my face, wondering how on earth I (figuratively) broke my legs.

But I don't want to be the other extreme, do I? I need to make time to lie in the grass and make up worlds in the clouds, to stare out windows imagining inner and outer lives.

If I am not running a workshop, I am driving to one or I am constantly emailing or in meetings or training, and I play word games on my I-phone to relax, sometimes even to put me to sleep. I am constantly plugged in.

But my brain needs time during the day as well as the night, to dream and process things through my sub-conscious.

Last weekend I got my first speeding ticket. Ever. A tangible reminder to slow down, yet I haven't been able to do that.

So this is me confessing, me wanting to get right with myself and the world. I need to slow down. I've written about saying "yes" to things, but I also need to learn how to say "no", so that I can take care of myself and recharge my batteries with sweet nothingness.

On the next warm, sunny day, I vow to lie in the grass and have a date with the clouds. Will you join me?