I need to, my writing life needs me to, my sanity needs me to.
Desperately.
Maybe blogging is a modern form of daydreaming? But no, I'm searching for meaning in my thoughts here. Daydreaming is freedom from thought. To quote Winnie-the-Pooh: How sweet to be a cloud, floating in the blue . . .
I am running ten workshops this semester, working with kids and teens I admire and who inspire me with their capacity to daydream, to free associate, to build castles in the air. I challenge them, trick them to break through and follow up their dreams with thought. I need to practice what I preach.
I used to be a big daydreamer - so big, that I was self-destructive. I used to build castles in the air and then try to move in, inevitably falling on my face, wondering how on earth I (figuratively) broke my legs.
But I don't want to be the other extreme, do I? I need to make time to lie in the grass and make up worlds in the clouds, to stare out windows imagining inner and outer lives.
If I am not running a workshop, I am driving to one or I am constantly emailing or in meetings or training, and I play word games on my I-phone to relax, sometimes even to put me to sleep. I am constantly plugged in.
But my brain needs time during the day as well as the night, to dream and process things through my sub-conscious.
Last weekend I got my first speeding ticket. Ever. A tangible reminder to slow down, yet I haven't been able to do that.
So this is me confessing, me wanting to get right with myself and the world. I need to slow down. I've written about saying "yes" to things, but I also need to learn how to say "no", so that I can take care of myself and recharge my batteries with sweet nothingness.
On the next warm, sunny day, I vow to lie in the grass and have a date with the clouds. Will you join me?
